Hello beautiful newsletter readers, whoever you are! Well, Alora has honored me by asking if I would like to write some pieces for the newsletter; specifically on my experiences with the Center, Spirit Guides, Journeys and so forth. Not as any kind of expert, BELIEVE ME, but to share some of my experiences and struggles as I wrestle with my spiritual lessons along this path I've chosen to walk. I couldn't really refuse this invitation, as I've been saying for some time now that I want to write; if I've learned one thing in the past year, it's that if you tell the universe what you want, you will likely get it, one way or another! So to start, I guess I should share a little bit about me….

I have not, until recently, been what you would call a "spiritual" person. As a child I was forced to attend Baptist church, which for me meant every Sunday spent sitting in a pew, in a dress (ew!) and listening to our otherwise soft-spoken pastor bellow loudly and slam the pulpit in fury with his fiery, miserable depictions of Hell. It was your classic fear-based religion, and I guess it worked; it scared the hell out of me!

At the end of every sermon, Pastor Hale would invite anyone who had felt the Spirit of God enter their souls to come to the front of the congregation, where stiff, well-dressed deacons would greet them with hugs and smiles and maybe even tears. I never felt God's spirit "enter" me, and frankly was quite terrified at the possibility; after having listened to more than an hour's thundering sermon on God's vengeful wrath and fury and "tough love" ways, the thought of God's spirit merging with mine seemed more like demonic possession than rapture! So, I spent my time in church alternating between feeling like a soulless heathen with whom no God would bother, and relief that I was once again spared from fully experiencing God in all his vengeance.

By the time I was a teenager I had grown to distrust and avoid religion. To me, it was as judgmental and hypocritical as some of its followers; once I was old enough to be given a choice about attending church, I stopped going immediately, and never looked back.

In the years that followed, whenever someone asked me if I believed in God, I would hesitate. I could never bring myself to decide yes or no. I told myself that my uncertainty was due to all of those sermons being pounded into my head as a child; I still carried the fear of God, so could not bring myself to denounce him. Buy as I grew older and more introspective, I knew, just felt in my bones, that there was SOMETHING there; some underlying current that connected us all. I called it energy then, not God. But a connection; a general consciousness that linked us all together.

When I reached my 30's and started suffering from chronic lower back pain, I attended a yoga class for the first time, after much gentle but persistent urging from my friend Rita. I found the stretches to be soothing and helpful, and I tolerated the spiritual monologue of our yoga teacher, a Hindu nun named Damara. I met Damara briefly after the first class, and was somewhat stunned. Here was a woman in her 50's, very shy and gentle, with long silver hair and a soft, grandmother's body. But it was her eyes that transfixed me; they were the clearest, bluest and most serene eyes I'd ever seen, and in them I saw energy and light and love. I began attending her classes weekly, and as time went on, her spiritual lessons, which were an ongoing part of the yoga, began speaking to me more and more. The lessons revolved around honoring the light that lives within each of us; about honoring our souls, and that we all carry a piece of "God", whatever that was to us, inside ourselves. The lessons seemed to mirror ideas and beliefs that I had already started to feel years before; it was as though the lessons were speaking to a part of me that already Knew. I felt like I wasn't learning so much as I was Remembering.

I started reading more spiritual literature; a friend lent me some books by Mary Summer Rain, and again I connected to her messages; about souls, an all-loving God, and living life from the Light vs. the Dark, and karma. Then, about a year ago, again at the invitation of my friend Rita, I attended my first Goddess Drumming Circle. It was held at Laurie's home, a friend I had met through Rita's improv group. I met many beautiful and funny women there, and there was great food, chocolate, and chicks wailing on tribal drums; what's not to love? Of course, this was also a spiritual gathering, and the facilitators of the night, Laurie (now known as Mellissa) and Dana (now known as Alora), another improv friend, spoke of the power of intent, and Spirit, and Connection, and Love.

My personal "barometer" was taking in all of these spiritual lessons and learnings with ease; it was amazing to me how easily I was accepting these spiritual concepts, considering what a skeptic I had been as a child. But once again, this wasn't really like learning; I was just re-learning truths that I already knew somehow; that there is a "God", a Source, if you will; and that we are each of us a part of that source; that we all carry the Light within us. That we each possess free will; a choice as to whether we will honor and embrace that light, or turn away. This all made much more sense than any of the Baptist teachings of my childhood, which never quite rang true for me.

So, I began attending more of these goddess events, and at one of them, Dana and Laurie spoke of a shamanic healing center that they were being called to open soon. They invited anyone who felt compelled to come down and help with the destruction and construction and anything else they wanted to give. I was rapt with attention, and a voice within me said, "Yes; get involved in this immediately". So, at the end of the evening, I told Dana (now Alora, as we all know :)) that I would like to help. She accepted with a big smile and a joyful light in her eyes, which is actually a pretty common state for Alora! But anyway, this was my introduction to the San Diego Circle.

Working with Alora and Laurie during the destruction and construction has been quite an amazing experience. All of the decisions and inspirations have been directed by Spirit, mostly channeled through these powerful and wacky shamans, as I affectionately call them. I am continually inspired and rejuvenated by the time spent down at the center; the energy there is positive and light and giving; check it out!

In October, I began taking my first workshop at the center, called Meet Your Spirit Guides. My next installment will begin there. Thanks for taking the time to read my "story". You rock!!

   -Michelle

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